


Objectionable

by JCapasso



Series: Objectionable [1]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:34:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24014530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JCapasso/pseuds/JCapasso
Summary: When Lucifer officially becomes a consultant with the LAPD, Dan is livid. Lucifer's presence is an insult to everyone who is actually qualified, so he makes a wager with Lucifer.
Relationships: Dan Espinoza/Lucifer Morningstar
Series: Objectionable [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1733305
Comments: 82
Kudos: 242





	1. Chapter 1

Dan’s blood boiled when he learned that the delusional idiot of a playboy was now an official consultant. To make matters worse, he was partnering with Dan’s wife. Sure they were currently separated, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t still work things out. It was a few days later before said consultant cornered him. “You hate me,” Lucifer said almost amused. 

“No kidding,” Dan said with a roll of his eyes. 

“Why?” Lucifer asked curiously. 

“What? Can’t believe that there’s someone that doesn’t bow at your feet?” Dan scoffed. 

“There are plenty of people in that category, but generally when someone hates another person there is a reason,” Lucifer pointed out. 

“Fine. You want to know? You think you can just come in here and flash your looks and your money around and make us all dance to your tune, but your very presence here is an insult to those of us who are actually qualified to be here,” Dan snapped. 

“And you think I’m not qualified,” Lucifer nodded in understanding. “And you’re qualified to judge that?” 

“It’s completely obvious,” Dan told him. 

“Then enlighten me, please. What qualifications exactly do I lack so that I might remedy the situation?” 

“Well let’s see, you can’t shoot, run, fight, do paperwork…”

“I think you’re confusing can’t with don’t,” Lucifer pointed out. “I don’t do any of those things because I don’t see a need to.”

“Right,” Dan rolled his eyes again.

“I assure you, detective douche, that anything you can do, I can do better,” Lucifer said with a smirk. 

“Oh really,” Dan said skeptically. “How about a wager then?” 

“Name your terms,” Lucifer said smugly. 

“A series of competitions. If I win then you quit.” 

“If you win more than half,” Lucifer adjusted. “And for each competition that I win, you have to spend an evening in my company.” 

“What?” Dan asked disgustedly. “You actually think I’m gonna sleep with you?” 

“Who said anything about sleeping together?” Lucifer laughed. 

“Then what could you possibly get out of that?” 

“I have no problem with being hated in general. It’s something of a theme in my life, you might say. But I do prefer that someone have a valid reason for doing so. You can’t have a reason if you don’t get to know me,” Lucifer pointed out. 

“So…what…just hang out and a have a few drinks or something?” Dan asked. He could live with that. Not that he would lose obviously. 

“Precisely,” Lucifer said with a nod. “Say…four hours minimum just to put a time limit on it.” He didn’t want the other man to come, have one drink and then leave claiming he’d done his duty. 

“Okay, fine. But I chose the contests,” Dan told him. 

“By all means,” Lucifer said graciously. 

Dan looked at his watch. “It’s almost quitting time for the day. Why don’t we head down to the shooting range,” he suggested. 

“Very well,” Lucifer sighed. He despised guns, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t use them. His devil reflexes meant that he never missed a shot.

Once they got to the range and Lucifer checked out a weapon, they went to their lines. “I get five shots to warm up,” Lucifer told him. Every gun had minor differences after all. 

Dan tilted his head in consideration before nodding and Lucifer took his five shots, all missing the target, and Dan laughed. “You sure you don’t want to go ahead and forfeit?” 

“I’m positive,” Lucifer said with a smirk. He’d hit exactly where he was aiming. No need to give the douche too much insight before the competition truly began. “How many shots are we taking?” 

“Ten shots each. Best score wins,” Dan said as Lucifer changed out his target. Once Lucifer agreed, they took their shots and called their targets back. “That’s impossible,” Dan said looking at Lucifer’s target. 

Lucifer gave him a smug look. “There wasn’t quite room for ten distinct shots in the center there, so I had to put two of them a bit outside. I didn’t want you claiming that I cheated if I used the same spot again.” 

Dan looked back and forth between the targets to see that Lucifer had beaten him. Not by a lot. He was a good shot, but he had beaten him. “You couldn’t even hit the target in practice.”

“I hit exactly where I was aiming,” Lucifer told him with a chuckle. “I believe that’s one evening you owe me.” 

“Okay. Fine. But that’s just one round. Meet me in the gym at nine tomorrow morning for some hand to hand,” Dan said in irritation before turning and walking out. 

Lucifer went to return the weapon, giving it a disgusted look as he did. He hoped to never use one of these things again. He headed back to his club to enjoy the rest of his evening and ensure Maze could accompany him in the morning. He didn’t just want to show the arrogant detective up. He wanted to put him in his place completely. 

The next morning when Dan got to the gym, he saw both Lucifer and Maze sitting there waiting for him, Lucifer, as usual, in one of his fancy suits and he laughed. “You do know that you have to fight me yourself right? You can’t tag someone else in.” 

“Oh I’m perfectly aware,” Lucifer said with a smirk. “Shall we?” he motioned to the ring. 

Dan followed him in and took a fighting stance, amused when Lucifer just stood there without even making an attempt. His amusement faded slightly when Lucifer easily dodged half a dozen punches, lazily adjusting his cuffs. “Fine, so you can dodge. That doesn’t mean you can fight,” Dan pointed out. 

Lucifer sighed, “Very well. If you’re truly in such a hurry to be beaten.” Lucifer spun to the side after Dan’s next punch and landed an elbow on the back of his neck and Dan crumpled to the floor. 

Maze came over with the smelling salts she’d brought for this purpose and woke him up. “The hell?” Dan asked climbing to his feet. 

“There are more than a dozen ways to render a human body unconscious,” Lucifer explained. “Most of those, unfortunately, have a risk of lasting effects and I have no intention of permanently harming you.” 

Dan narrowed his eyes. “That was a lucky shot,” he accused and took another swing, only for Lucifer to sidestep it and grip the nerve bundle in his shoulder, knocking him out again. Once he was revived he huffed. “No more knocking me out without even trying to fight,” he said in irritation. 

“If you insist,” Lucifer told him and caught the next punch in his hand and twisted, flipping Dan to the floor. “You might not be aware of this, but my club was an underground fight club before I got it.” 

“And you’re saying you fought there?” Dan asked, starting to wonder if maybe he had been wrong about him. 

“Won the championship before I bought it,” Lucifer said smugly. He didn’t mention that the fight was with his brother or that it was rigged. Dan had no need to know that information. “If you’re done playing, perhaps Mazikeen and I can give you a demonstration?” 

Dan scrutinized him for a moment before shrugging and stepping out, as Maze came in. “This is gonna be fun,” she grinned. 

“Just remember please Mazey darling, that the purpose of this is to prove that I can fight, not to prove that you can wipe the floor with me,” Lucifer laughed. 

“I’ll think about it,” Maze laughed with him and started throwing punches and kicks almost faster than Dan could see and his eyes widened as Lucifer blocked and countered all of them. Neither of them landed a hit on each other, but he had never seen a better fight, and he watched a lot of kung fu movies. The stalemate lasted until Lucifer landed a lucky shot and caught Maze in the jaw. Then Maze hit a whole new level of awesome and had Lucifer pinned on his back in seconds. That statement about Maze wiping the floor with him brought on a whole new meaning. 

Lucifer laughed and lazily ‘tapped out’. “I believe that was enough of a demonstration anyway. Thank you Maze.” 

“You’re gonna pay for that shot,” she huffed as she stepped out of the ring. 

“I don’t doubt it,” Lucifer said amusedly as he went back over to Dan. “I believe it’s safe to say that’s two evenings you owe me now, yes?”

Dan grumbled, knowing that he’d lost fair and square. Who could have ever guessed that Lucifer could move like that. “Foot race next,” he said. 

“Very well. Sprinting or distance?” Lucifer asked, despite the fact that it hardly mattered. 

“Both. Sprinting first,” Dan said walking outside and waiting for Lucifer to follow him. 

Lucifer knew that his shoes were hardly fit for this, but it wasn’t as if he couldn’t replace them if they were damaged. Despite the lack of traction, he would still win. Dan set the distance and Maze counted them down and Dan was quickly left in the dust. When he returned to the starting point, he was even more irritated to see that Lucifer wasn’t even out of breath. “Distance run…tomorrow,” he panted with his hands on his knees. 

“Very well. We’re up to three by the way, and I’m perfectly happy to make it four if you truly wish to continue this,” Lucifer chuckled as he turned to leave. 

Once they were out of earshot, Maze started laughing. “It’s so fun to watch you toy with humans.” 

“Why thank you, darling. It’s rather fun to do so as well. Even if it does mean doing such undignified things as running from time to time.” 

“I get to watch tomorrow too right?” she asked hopefully. “I want to see if he’ll actually have a heart attack or something trying to keep up with you.” 

Lucifer barked a laugh. “Like I would ever deny you such amusement.”


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Lucifer met Dan at a running track, having suggested that so that he couldn’t be accused of cheating when he got too far ahead and out of sight. Maze parked herself near the edge to watch with a grin. “How many miles are we doing?” Lucifer asked Dan as he came up. 

Dan snorted amusedly at Lucifer’s getup. He was still in the full suit, but at least had running shoes this time. It made an odd look. “Two work for you?” Dan asked. 

“I suppose,” Lucifer said with a shrug. “But I thought we were going for distance.” 

Dan narrowed his eyes, not really underestimating Lucifer anymore, but still wondering how much of that was bluster. “Two miles is fine.” Maze counted them down again and they started running, Lucifer at about three quarter’s of the speed he had sprinted yesterday, wanting to leave Dan in the dust, but not be overly ridiculous about it. He could run full speed for hours with his supernatural endurance, after all. 

Dan started at a much slower pace, sure that Lucifer would have to slow down at some point. The first time Lucifer started catching up to lap him, Lucifer laughed and ran a circle around him. “Ready to forfeit yet?” he taunted. 

“Not a chance,” Dan replied, and when Lucifer stopped circling him and pulled ahead again, he started to wonder if Lucifer actually /would/ slow down at any point, so he picked up the pace, trying to at least keep up with Lucifer. He was already a full lap behind of their total eight and he hadn’t even finished the first lap yet. He made it two laps at that pace before he collapsed face down in the dirt. When Maze started laughing he didn’t even have the strength to get annoyed. 

Dan saw Lucifer’s feet turn around and run back towards him and braced himself for more teasing, but he was surprised when Lucifer just crouched down and checked his pulse before holding up a hand towards Maze who apparently threw a bottle of water that Lucifer caught expertly before helping him to sit up and handing it to him. “Thanks,” Dan couldn’t help but say after he downed half the bottle. 

“Are we ready to call this one a win for me or are you going to persist in giving yourself heart failure?” Lucifer asked amusedly, but Dan could hear the concern laced in his voice as well. 

That concern was the only reason Dan nodded. “Yeah. You win.” 

“Good,” Lucifer said before lifting Dan like he didn’t weigh a thing and carrying him over to the chair that Maze vacated. 

“Then hell man?” Dan asked, both irritated at being carried and shocked that it was done so easily. 

“I assumed this would be more comfortable than the ground. I can put you back if you wish though,” Lucifer said with a smirk. 

“I…you…ugh. You could have just helped me walk over,” Dan said annoyed. At least it had prevented him from another loss though. Anyone that could lift him like it was nothing was going to win a contest of strength so he wasn’t even going there. 

“I could have, yes, but where’s the fun in that,” Lucifer chuckled before looking at Maze and holding out his hand. “Pay up.”

Maze grumbled and plopped a stack of cash in his hand. “Do I want to know?” Dan asked. 

“She thought you wouldn’t even make it two laps, but you made it almost three,” Lucifer said. 

“Only because he sandbagged the start,” Maze grumbled. 

“Don’t be a sore loser Maze,” Lucifer chided amusedly before turning back to Dan. “I believe paperwork is the ‘qualification’ we have yet to test yes?” 

“How exactly do we make paperwork a competition?” Dan asked with snort. 

“Simple. You do my paperwork for a day and I’ll do yours. Whoever’s passes muster is the winner,” Lucifer told him. 

“You don’t have any paperwork. You’re just a consultant,” Dan pointed out. 

“Not at the station, no, but you don’t truly think I can run an entire nightclub without doing any paperwork do you?” Lucifer asked incredulously. 

“You don’t just hire people to do it for you?” Dan asked just as incredulously. 

“Some of it, yes, but there is still plenty that only I do. Maze’s math skills are horrendous,” Lucifer joked, getting a kick to the back of the knees from the demon in question and just barely managed to keep himself on his feet. 

Dan considered that for a minute. Paperwork at the station was probably a lot more complicated than he was used to and Dan knew that his own math skills weren’t bad, so eventually he nodded. “Tomorrow we’ll switch paperwork then,” he agreed. “But if I get a case, I’ll have to come in.” 

“As I do,” Lucifer pointed out, not giving him that out. 

Dan blinked for a moment as he realized that Lucifer was right and gave him an almost respectful nod. “Fair enough.” If nothing else he could finish it after work. How long could it take? If Lucifer could do it then so could he. 

“Excellent. I usually get started at seven am, but I won’t hold you to that hour. As long as you get to the club before I need to leave to start your paperwork by nine, that’s fine,” Lucifer told him. 

“Dude, how much do you sleep?” Dan asked incredulously, knowing that he usually partied late into the night and if he started his day by seven every morning…

“Roughly three or four hours per night,” Lucifer said matter-of-factly. 

“I’ll be there by seven,” Dan grumbled. “Seven thirty at the latest.” 

“Very well. I’ll see you then,” Lucifer said with a smirk. He knew that he would have to fix a lot after Dan finished, but it as worth it to show him up yet again. 

The next morning, Dan showed up at Lux, still exhausted, to see three stacks on the bar and Lucifer sitting there waiting, looking way too perky for this early of the morning. Once he sat down next to him, Lucifer put a hand on the tallest stack. “This is yesterday’s receipts, here’s the ledger to enter them into, and here is the inventory checklist and order forms. I suggest you start with the inventory since that has to be done before opening so you don’t want to end up getting a case and having to leave before it’s finished.” 

“You don’t use a computer?” Dan asked in shock. 

“Obviously not,” Lucifer said distastefully. “If you make a mistake in the computer it changes everything else after it and tracking down that mistake later is a nightmare. It’s far more difficult to write the wrong number than to hit the wrong key on a keyboard.” 

“Where is the inventory?” Dan asked wearily, already regretting this. At least he had a few days worth of paperwork backed up so it wasn’t like Lucifer would have it easy either. 

“Well, behind the bar obviously, and that door back there leads to the stock room. There is a marker on the taps under the bar to let you know how much is left.” Lucifer waited a minute for any more questions before he said, “I suppose I should head out to get started on my end of the bargain, now. If you have any problems, that door there leads to Maze’s apartment and she can point you in the right direction. I would be careful though. She tends to bite if you wake her up,” he laughed as he headed out the door. 

Dan was ready to pull his hair out within two hours. Every time he thought he got an accurate count on the inventory he would realized that he missed a case or counted a half full case as full or some other mistake. After four counts, none of them agreed in the slightest. It was almost noon by the time he got a decent count and then filling out the orders for refills was another nightmare, but not nearly so bad. At least Lucifer had marked which vendors worked with which brands. The opening crew was just coming in to start cleaning and setting up when he got to the receipts and Maze showed him to the office so he could keep working without being in the way. 

Dan was still plugging away at it when Lucifer breezed back in. “Still working?” he asked in surprise. 

“I’m almost done,” Dan grumbled. He only had a handful of receipts left to enter. 

“Excellent,” Lucifer said grabbing a drink and pulling another folder from the cabinet, and sitting on the other side of the desk to start working on something. 

“What are you doing?” Dan asked curiously. 

“Well I wasn’t going to give you /everything/ I have to do,” Lucifer chuckled. “The banking and payroll are a bit too delicate to simply hand off willy nilly.”

“Wait so this is only like half of what you do every day?” Dan sputtered. 

“Slightly more than half. The banking and payroll aren’t very time consuming as long as I keep up with it on a daily basis and don’t let it back up,” Lucifer told him. “Oh and you will be glad to know that your paperwork is all caught up and turned in. I even forged your handwriting so that no one will know the difference.” 

“You…caught up on…everything?!” Dan asked in shock. 

“Well, yes,” Lucifer told him. It hadn’t been difficult. Simply tedious. 

Dan noticed that he was continuing to work even while having the conversation while Dan had stopped completely to talk and he sighed, knowing that he had lost this one too. That was five nights that he was going to be stuck in Lucifer’s company. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he could have at least gotten a single win. He quickly finished entering the receipts and closed the book. “Well, I’m done.” 

“Perfect,” Lucifer said. “I’ll check over it all in the morning assuming I don’t end up being called to assist. Any other contests you would like to propose?” 

“Not right now,” Dan grumbled, resolving to think of one. He just wanted one win. Any win. 

“Very well. How does Friday evening work for you?” Lucifer asked. 

“Friday is fine,” Dan said in defeat. 

“Just come by the club after you get off work then.”


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning when the lieutenant thanked Dan for the excellent job he’d done catching up on paperwork, it was just adding insult to injury. He knew that he had, at best, done a passable job on Lucifer’s paperwork and who knew the guy put in so much work. What the hell was he even doing working here? It couldn’t be the money. Even if he wasn’t loaded he was making next to nothing as a consultant and he clearly had plenty of other work to do. He couldn’t say that he wasn’t qualified anymore though. It still didn’t change his other reason for hating him. His very personal reason that he had no intention of sharing. No matter how well he knew the guy, he would never like him. Not as long as he was going around pretending to be the devil.

He noticed Chloe heading out to a crime scene around ten and knew that she was going to pick Lucifer up on the way. He found himself wondering if Lucifer was finished with his work yet and how much he was going to end up having to catch up on later before he decided he didn’t care and put it out of his head. He got his own case soon after that anyway that drew his attention and ended up taking most of the rest of the week to solve. Lucifer cornered him halfway through Friday putting off their guys night for lack of a better term. The fact that it coincided with Chloe putting out an APB for angel wings had him storming out in a temper. He was taking this act way too far. 

The next Friday night, Dan was invited to Lucifer’s birthday party, but Lucifer made it clear that it wouldn’t count for their bet since he was hosting the party and thus wouldn’t have much time to chat. He fully intended to avoid it, but then Chloe dragged him out. He managed to talk her into just stopping by due to the welcome back party for Malcom, at least. When they got there he raised an eyebrow at the insanity going on. Chloe practically read his mind when she said, “You said drinks with a few friends.” 

“Well, you know, things got out of hand. Just the way I like it,” he said smugly. 

“We brought you a birthday gift,” Dan cut in. 

“Was that the royal we?” Lucifer asked amusedly. 

“Whiskey with pickle juice chaser. It’s our stations birthday tradition,” Chloe explained as she poured the shots out.

“Lovely,” he said sarcastically. “How can I refuse? Can I refuse?” he asked hopefully. 

“Of course you can. And we’ll always think less of you,” Dan said with a hint of smug, intentionally making it a challenge. 

Lucifer caught his eye and smirked before downing the two shots in succession, rising to the unspoken challenge and he was actually surprised when it wasn’t so bad. When Lucifer started to look for Maze, Dan elbowed Chloe and she made their excuses to leave. 

The following Friday, they finally got their first hang out night, but he was a little late thanks to a confrontation with Malcom. Lucifer didn’t say anything about his tardiness, simply handing over a drink when he got there. Dan knew that Lucifer wouldn’t have started the clock until he sat down though, so it didn’t really matter anyway. “Are we just gonna hang out down here all night?” Dan asked curiously. That wouldn’t be so bad. If he ignored the person next to him, the club was pretty awesome. 

“Yes, actually. Unfortunately, one of my security staff seems to have fallen ill, so I’d like to stick around and keep an eye on things,” Lucifer told him. “It shouldn’t interfere with our evening much if at all.” 

“Do you do that often? Stay here to keep an eye on things?” Dan asked, taking a sip of his drink. 

“I party here nearly every night, Daniel,” Lucifer pointed out with a chuckle. 

“That’s why?” Dan asked surprised. 

“That and it’s fun,” Lucifer said with a grin as he set his empty glass down for Maze to refill it. “No reason we can’t mix business with pleasure.” That was the whole reason he owned the club anyway. 

Over the next few hours, Dan and Lucifer chatted, with the occasional addition from Maze, and frequent interruptions by women, men, and other coming over to hang on Lucifer. When that happened, Lucifer always gave them a few moments of attention, usually including a kiss or two before they wandered back off. It was about three hours in when Lucifer suddenly got up. “Excuse me a moment.” 

Dan watched as Lucifer went over to a man who was obviously upset and had a hold of a woman…no definitely a man, but dressed as a woman. Lucifer forcibly removed that man’s hand from her arm and Dan could see him saying a few words and every line in his body screamed predator. Dan wasn’t sure if he would have noticed that if not for seeing him fight before. Lucifer pointed the man towards the door and watched every step as he left before turning back to the drag queen who was nearly as tall as him and putting on his charming persona. He kissed her hand elegantly before coming back over to the bar. “So sorry about that,” he told Dan before turning to Maze. 

“I got it,” Maze told him. 

“Got what?” Dan asked curiously. 

“She gets a free drink,” Lucifer told him. “Standard policy when there is an incident like that.” 

“Are there incidents like that often?” Dan asked. 

“Not usually no. Most people who come here know better,” Lucifer told him. 

“People, mostly men, getting pushy and not wanting to take no for an answer is much more common,” Maze jumped in. 

“Yes. Incidents like that are why I have so much security on staff,” Lucifer explained. 

Dan snorted as Maze moved away to refill a drink down the bar. “Like you never do that.” 

“I don’t,” Lucifer said dangerously. “And even if I did, my staff would stop me just as quickly as they would anyone else.” 

“Yeah, right,” Dan rolled his eyes skeptically. No one was going to throw their boss out of his own club. 

“Don’t believe me? How about a little test then,” Lucifer said, not willing to allow anyone to believe so little of him. 

“What kind of test?” Dan asked suspiciously. 

“I’ll come on to you, you resist, and see how quickly I’m stopped,” Lucifer suggested, not willing to grab a random person to test with and actually /do/ the one thing he hated. 

Dan narrowed his eyes at Lucifer, and gave a slow nod. “Okay, but only if you stop yourself if no one else does,” he reluctantly agreed. 

“Naturally,” Lucifer told him. “But it will need to wait a bit so that I can play up being drunk.” 

It was about half an hour later that Lucifer grabbed Dan and kissed him, and Dan tried to push him away, but Lucifer wasn’t budging. It wasn’t long before Dan saw one of the bouncers coming over and pulling Lucifer away, which Lucifer allowed this time. “Go sleep it off, boss,” the bouncer told him, giving him a little push for the stairs, and Lucifer went, staggering all the way. “Sorry about that,” the bouncer told Dan. “He’s never done that before. I don’t know…”

“It was a setup,” Maze said as she came back over, not wanting his staff to think less of him. She knew that Lucifer would likely explain it later anyway. 

That forced Dan into explaining the rest. “Yeah. I didn’t actually believe him when he said that you would stop him from going too far since he’s your boss and all,” he said with a shrug. 

“Of course we would. It’s his standing orders. Boss wants this to be a safe place for anyone and everyone. He made it clear from the start that he’s no exception to that and if I had turned a blind eye I would have been fired on the spot,” the bouncer told him. 

Dan nodded, feeling a new respect for Lucifer after that, and turned his attention to his drink. He’d noticed that all types of people were here obviously, but the talk about this being a safe place and how intent Lucifer was on it was definitely a different type of insight into the man. He’d noticed that Lucifer never treated anyone differently, but now that he was looking around, he noticed that almost no one else was either. It was a little while before Dan realized that Lucifer wasn’t planning on coming back down so he went to pay his tab only for it to be waved off by Maze. “You’re on the free drinks list,” she told him. 

“Since when?” Dan asked incredulously. 

“Since you agreed to his bet and gave him a chance,” Maze said with a shrug as she walked off.


	4. Chapter 4

Dan spent most of they way home trying to get that kiss out of his head. He’d fought it at the time, but the new revelations he got about Lucifer right after that made him more willing to admit that there had been sparks there. Then he forced himself to remember that Lucifer was impersonating the devil. He couldn’t allow himself to feel anything there. It would be beyond disrespectful to his faith. He would do his duty with these evenings out and then be done with it. 

The following Friday night, when he showed up to the club, Lucifer took him upstairs where they could chat privately and even cooked dinner. Who knew Lucifer could actually cook? And pretty damn well at that. It was easily the best meal he’d ever eaten, in or out of a restaurant, not that he’d been to many upscale restaurants. By the end of the night, he realized that he was actually falling for Lucifer, despite his completely offensive persona, and by the next Monday morning, he had an idea to get him to drop it. Maybe if he did that, he might be able to stomach letting himself have something there. If Lucifer would even go for him that was. If nothing else, he might just be able to lower his obligation. 

When he got a chance to talk to Lucifer Monday afternoon, he said, “Out of curiosity…the bet we have going…if I win one then we take a night off what I owe right?” 

Lucifer tilted his head and gave a half-shrug. “Sure. Why not.” 

“Okay, then I have a new competition,” Dan said smugly. 

“Very well. What must I prove my skills in now?” 

“Lying.”

“Pardon?” Lucifer said in shock. “How is that in any way a useful skill?” 

“Because sometimes we have to lie. It’s part of the job. Letting a suspect think you have more than you do to get them talking. Comforting a victim. There are a lot of times where lies come in handy,” Dan told him. 

“There are ways to do those things without lying,” Lucifer argued. 

“You said that I could choose the contests,” Dan told him. “Was that a lie?” Dan knew that Lucifer was right, but he needed to get something to give. Either shorten his obligation so that he wouldn’t fall as deeply or get Lucifer to win by admitting that he’s been lying to everyone all along. 

Lucifer sighed heavily and shook his head. “I forfeit,” he said wearily. 

“Wait what?” Dan asked in surprise. Since when does Lucifer back down from a challenge?

Lucifer looked at him seriously and said, “I don’t lie. For any reason. I forfeit. You win. You only owe me two more evenings of company.” That said he turned and walked away with a slump to his shoulders leaving a gaping detective behind. Dan turned back to his work, but couldn’t really focus on much. Lucifer was actually willing to forfeit rather than lie. Did that mean that he was delusional rather than lying? Did he honestly believe that he was the real devil? If so, what could he do about it? 

On their next evening together, it was also in the penthouse, and Dan had come to the conclusion that maybe he could give it a try and then get Lucifer to get help for his delusions. To that end, near the end of the evening, he leaned over and kissed Lucifer again, not particularly surprised when Lucifer kissed him back and it quickly got heated. When Dan straddled Lucifer’s lap, his lips trailing over his neck, Lucifer tilted his head to the side, giving him better access as he murmured. “Mmm. Does this mean you’ve decided to give the devil a go after all?” 

That stopped Dan cold, and he quickly got up. “Yeah. Sorry. I can’t do this,” Dan said grabbing his jacket and making his way for the elevator. He wanted to. Very much. He just couldn’t. 

Lucifer watched him go with confusion, not wanting to admit how hurt he was. It wasn’t the first time he’d been walked out on, not that it happened often of course. It had never bothered him before, so why did it hurt so much this time? Was it because he was starting to think of Dan as a friend? That had to be it. He put it out of his mind. It didn’t really matter. He could just pretend this incident never happened. He got up and headed downstairs to find some help with his not so little problem. 

It was only a few days later that Chloe came to get him for a case, stating that he was very necessary for it. Lucifer was more than a little intrigued, and completely appalled when he saw what it was. Dan scowled at him when he got to the crime scene and the little worm Malcom was still trying to buddy up to him. Dan’s irritation only grew when Lucifer kept up the whole devil thing even now and reached a fever pitch at his comment about Satanists and he walked away to help process the scene. 

Thankfully, he managed to convince Chloe to kick Lucifer off the case when they found a crime scene that seemed to be targeted more towards him than the actual devil. Unfortunately, that’s when things went truly haywire. He recognized the gun that was used to kill the preacher. The murder that Lucifer was being framed for. That gave him a major crisis of conscience. As pissed as he was, he couldn’t let someone take the fall for a murder they didn’t commit. Eventually he came to the conclusion that the only way to prevent it was to turn himself in. 

He was surprised to be let out less than a week later with a reprimand and even got his job back. Sort of. He was on probation and demoted. It didn’t take him long to figure out that it was Lucifer’s doing. That and learning that Lucifer had helped save his daughter’s life helped him come to a decision on what to do about his feelings for him. He would just have to explain why he couldn’t do it and hope that jolted Lucifer into getting help. He deserved that much after everything he’d done. 

His first day back on the job, he went to Lucifer and asked, “Can we do our last night for the bet at my place?” 

“I don’t see why not,” Lucifer agreed. “I’ll bring the alcohol though. I don’t want to know what depravities I might be subjected to otherwise.” Dan rolled his eyes but nodded. 

When Friday rolled around, Dan got home about twenty minutes before Lucifer was due and he took the time to consider the best way to do this. In the end, he decided that blunt was his only choice. Once Lucifer got there, and they were sitting with drinks in their hands, Dan said, “I think I owe you an explanation.”

Lucifer shook his head. “You don’t owe me anything. No is always a valid answer no matter when it’s given.” 

Dan was even more sure of his course of action after that, and he took a deep breath to steel himself as he got up and headed over to his large cabinet. “That wasn’t why I stopped. I just…can’t get past your whole devil persona thing,” he said as he opened it to reveal his altar. 

Lucifer goggled at it for a moment. “You’re one of those Satanists?” he asked in shock.

“No. I mean, yes, but nothing like the creeps we dealt with and definitely not like Malcom,” Dan explained quickly. “I’m actually pretty different from most Satanists. It’s a long family tradition and doesn’t really line up in a lot of ways…” Dan trailed off realizing that he was rambling, so put himself back on track. “So yeah. That’s why I can’t. As long as you’re pretending to be the devil.” 

Lucifer sighed heavily as he got up and went over to look at the altar more closely. He wanted to make sure that there was no blood or animal parts or anything like that. What he did see though made his eyes flash red in anger as he snatched it up. “Hey! You can’t…” Dan snapped heatedly, trying to grab the statue out of Lucifer’s hands only to stop short as he met glowing red eyes. He let out a gasp and took a few steps back. “That’s…it’s…” he stammered as it suddenly hit him that it was true. Lucifer really was the devil. But it still didn’t make much sense. 

“I am NOT some disgusting goat hybrid,” Lucifer snapped, forcing himself to put the statue back down where it was and pushing the anger from his eyes. He hadn’t meant to do that. “And I swear if I ever find out who started that stupid rumor I’ll rip them limb from limb.” 

“You’re really Lucifer,” Dan said in shock. 

“As I’ve been telling you all along. Why was that so hard for you to believe?” Lucifer asked, still casting irritated glances at the statue. 

Dan noticed that and moved over, grabbing it from the altar and throwing it away. “Because…I thought you would have…you know…known me from my prayers or something,” Dan said embarrassed and a little nervous. 

“Yeah if you were praying to Lucifer or Beelzebub or any of those other names, I wouldn’t have gotten them. Only my angelic name has a prayer channel,” Lucifer told him. 

“Oh. I didn’t know that. What…what name should I have been praying to?” 

“I’m not telling you that,” Lucifer said simply. “I don’t go by that name anymore and have no intention of starting again.”

“Then how should I pray?” Dan asked curiously. 

“Don’t. I don’t want your worship. I don’t want anyone’s worship,” Lucifer told him. 

Dan chuckled a bit. “I know. At least I thought I knew and I’m glad I was right…”

“Huh?” Lucifer asked inelegantly. Wasn’t that what this whole Satanist thing was about? Worship?

“I told you my family does things a little differently,” Dan said with a shrug. “We don’t actually worship you so much as just…look up to you. I mean, you’re the first being to ever throw off the chains of normalcy. To stand up for yourself and be your own person, and you were punished for it. At least that’s what we think. I don’t know how much truth is in it.”

“Quite a bit actually,” Lucifer said looking at Dan through new eyes. “I wanted free will. My father objected. Cue the whole fall from grace thing. And this has been passed down through your family?” He was more than curious now. 

“Yeah. Ever since my great great great grandmother Suarez,” Dan told him. 

“Pilar Suarez? Married to Hector Suarez?” Lucifer asked with wide-eyes. 

“You knew them?” Dan asked, eyes just as wide. 

“Very well,” Lucifer said, unable to stop the smirk from forming on his face. 

“Okay, please never tell me exactly how well,” Dan said with a wince. “Is that why they started the tradition though?” 

“Maybe. I didn’t know them long. I never got more than a few weeks topside before I was chucked back before,” Lucifer said with a shrug. 

“But this time is different?” Dan asked curiously. 

“Yes. The brother that was tasked with sending me back made the mistake of asking for a favor and writing me a blank check for it. My return favor was the freedom to stay here.” 

“Smart,” Dan chuckled. 

“I have to ask…the blood on the altar there…” 

“Mine,” Dan assured him. “I have never nor will ever harm an animal or another person. For you or for anyone.” 

“And it’s purpose?” Lucifer asked curiously. 

Dan gave a little shrug. “Sort of like a blood oath type thing,” he told him, a little embarrassed about that now, so he decided to change the subject. “Well since my objection is a moot point now, we could continue what we started last time if you wanted,” Dan said hopefully, taking a few steps closer. 

Lucifer backed away and held up a hand. “I think I’m going to have to decline. Worship or not, I don’t want it that way.” 

“It’s not like that,” Dan assured him quickly. “I mean…I fell in love with you weeks ago. I just couldn’t get past the whole persona. I felt like you were being disrespectful to…well…you. That’s the only reason I stopped. I don’t just want you because you’re actually the devil.” 

Lucifer gaped at him for a minute. “What did you say?” he almost whispered in shock. 

“I don’t just want you because you’re the actual devil?” 

“Before that,” Lucifer said. 

“I felt like you were being disrespectful to yourself?”

“Before that,” he said again. 

“I couldn’t get past the persona?” 

“Before that,” he said almost impatiently this time. 

“I fell…oh…crap…” 

“You…Did you…mean it? I mean…before you found out…all this?” Lucifer asked breathlessly. When Dan nodded nervously, Lucifer moved forward and grabbed him in a searing kiss that Dan just melted into. When they broke for air, Lucifer leaned his forehead against Dan’s trying to catch his breath. “I don’t…don’t really know what I feel for you, Daniel. This whole…human interaction thing is still so new to me, but…but no one has ever…ever /loved/ me before. Not for /me/,” Lucifer said almost in awe, overcome with emotion. 

Dan reached his hands to Lucifer’s cheeks, pulling back to look in his eyes. “That’s okay,” he said softly. “I don’t mind that you don’t know how you feel yet. But maybe we can figure it out? Together?” he asked hopefully. 

Lucifer felt a smile tugging at his lips as he nodded slowly. “Yes. We can do that. Together,” he agreed, and then it was his turn to be trapped in a kiss and he pulled Dan tightly against him as he returned it.


	5. Chapter 5

Lucifer and Dan were laying naked in bed, sweaty and sated, when Lucifer turned his new lover and said, “I need you to promise me something, Daniel.” When Dan looked at him curiously, he continued. “You will never agree to something just because you pseudo worship the devil. Only if you’re truly good with it.”

Dan nodded. “Okay. I can promise you that,” Dan agreed. It might take a little effort at first, but he could understand the need for the promise. 

“Thank you, darling,” Lucifer said with a smile, reaching out to pull Dan into his arms before they fell asleep. 

The next morning, Lucifer made breakfast in the unfamiliar kitchen and Dan stumbled in just before it hit the table. “Thanks, Lucifer,” he said with a smile. “I should let you know that Trixie will be here in a couple hours to spend the weekend, so I understand if you want to bail after breakfast.” 

“Do you want me to?” Lucifer asked curiously as he started to eat. 

“I’m good with anything you’re willing to give here,” Dan told him. “But letting Trixie in on our relationship means that everyone will know soon and I don’t want you to feel backed into a corner.”

Lucifer chuckled. “You should know by now that I don’t do things halfway,” he pointed out. “If we’re gonna give this thing a go, then I’m all in. Offspring and all. I will need to go home and get a change of clothes or two if I’m spending the weekend, however.” 

Dan grinned happily and leaned over for a lingering kiss. “That sounds perfect to me.” 

Once they finished breakfast, Lucifer headed out, but was back in an hour with a new suit on and hung two more in the closet before pulling his lover into a searing kiss. When Chloe got there to drop Trixie off, they were a little rumpled, but presentable. Chloe raised an eyebrow at them and asked, “Is there something you two want to tell me?” 

“Yes, actually,” Lucifer said with a smirk. “Daniel has finally decided to stop delaying the inevitable and fallen for my charms.” 

Dan laughed, and decided to add his own comment. “And Lucifer has decided to stop denying the possibility and commit.” 

Chloe just blinked for a moment before laughing and shaking her head. “Just keep in mind that you have a child present this weekend who doesn’t need to be traumatized.” 

“We are perfectly aware, thank you,” Lucifer told her amusedly just in time for him to be trapped in a hug from the child in question. 

“I’m so glad you’re here. We’re gonna have so much fun!” 

Lucifer patted her on the head and said, “I believe we have very different ideas of the word fun, child.” 

Dan snickered at that and Chloe just laughed again. “See you guys tomorrow night. Assuming Lucifer hasn’t run for the hills by then,” she joked. “Have fun!” she couldn’t resist adding before she left. 

Lucifer got himself out of the Disney movie coming up by offering to cook lunch, and Dan was in and out while he did. At one point, while he was cutting up the lettuce for the salad, his hand slipped and cut his finger and he yelped in surprise when it hurt and looked at the blood curiously. “You okay?” Dan asked as he grabbed a rag for it. 

“I believe your ex-wife must have forgotten something,” Lucifer grumbled. 

“What do you mean?” Dan asked, glancing out the window. “I don’t see her or her car.” 

Now Lucifer was even more confused. “That doesn’t make sense…unless…” he glanced over to the couch where Trixie was watching television. 

“You lost me, babe,” Dan told him. 

“Normally, I’m immortal and invulnerable. For some reason I have yet to ascertain, the detective’s presence seems to negate that effect and make me bleed and feel pain. If she’s not here, however…” 

“Then whatever it is might be genetic,” Dan figured out with a nod, looking to Trixie too. “I understand if you want to make yourself scarce when she’s around, then,” he said sadly. 

“Nonsense. I still work with the detective after all, and I am far less likely to be shot or stabbed here. Not to mention that if such a situation did arise, better me than either of you,” Lucifer told him. “It’s simply curious is all.” 

Dan couldn’t help but smile at that. “I’m not gonna argue with you taking a shot for Trix, obviously, but I can take care of myself,” he still had to say. “Let me go grab you a bandaid for that.” When he got back, Lucifer scrunched up his nose at the My Little Pony bandaid, but allowed Dan to put it on his finger. “Sorry babe. Didn’t realize I was out of the regular ones.”

“It serves it’s purpose,” Lucifer said as he set the bloodied lettuce aside to be thrown away and continued cutting. 

After lunch, Lucifer couldn’t get out of helping to build a fort in the living room, but as he’d told Dan, he didn’t do anything halfway and it was the best fort Dan or Trixie had ever seen. Once Trixie was in bed that night, Lucifer decided to let Dan in on his current dilemma that his mother had escaped Hell. That, of course, spawned an entire series of questions about Lucifer’s mother in general, why she was in Hell, and how Lucifer was going to get her back. 

“Just, be careful please, Luc?” Dan asked worriedly. “If she’s that much stronger than you and escaped from Hell, she’s probably not going to want to go back.”

“Luc?” Lucifer asked amusedly, not having heard that nickname in a very long time. 

Dan shrugged sheepishly. “Sorry. I don’t have to…”

“No, it’s fine,” Lucifer told him. “Simply caught me by surprise. I like it.” Dan smiled and kissed him before Lucifer turned back to the task at hand. “Regarding my mother, you have no reason for concern. When inhabiting a human body, she will have no more power than any human would. At least not for a while. No one has ever inhabited a human body for long so I can’t say with any certainty that it will remain that way.” 

“So as long as you find her fast, you’ll be good?”

“Precisely,” Lucifer nodded. 

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Dan asked. 

“If you could keep an eye out for anyone who died within that 24 hours but was resuscitated, that would be helpful,” Lucifer told him, allowing him to help. 

All of the leads ended up being dead ends though and Dan was sitting with Lucifer in the penthouse trying to come up with a new plan when a bloody and discheveled woman stepped out of the elevator. Dan’s eyes widened when they realized that this was his mother. Once she was somewhat settled she looked at Dan like he was a bug. “Make the human go away.” 

“I think not, mother. He has every right to be here, unlike you,” Lucifer said in irritation. Lucifer tried praying for Amenadiel but he didn’t come. Eventually he did show up, but refused to take her back to Hell no matter how much Lucifer argued and wouldn’t even say why. 

“Maybe you should just let her stay?” Dan suggested, not seeing another way right now. 

“It seems I don’t have a choice now doesn’t it,” he said in irritation. “I only hope that my father doesn’t take back his end of the bargain since I can’t fulfill mine.”

“His end of the bargain?” Dan asked, having not gotten that part of the story. 

“The lives of the detective and your offspring,” Lucifer told him. 

Dan sucked in a sharp breath. “Explain?” 

“When the urchin was kidnapped by detective stache, I was shot and dying. I used my last breath to offer my father anything he wished for their lives. I ended up in Hell where he showed me where my mother escaped and then brought me back. Putting her back in Hell is the payment for their lives.” 

“And there’s really no way to convince your brother?” Dan changed his tune quickly. 

“Unfortunately, he is as stubborn as he is egotistical. He won’t budge,” Lucifer said with a sigh. 

His mother kept trying to butter him up after that but he refused to give her the time of day. Partially because she continued treating Dan like a dog. Thankfully, another option presented itself soon enough when another brother came to demand he hand her over to return to Hell. Lucifer just shrugged. “Sure. No problem.” 

Uriel looked at him confused. “Just like that? You’re giving in?” 

“Of course. I would like nothing more than for her to be returned to her rightful place,” Lucifer told him. 

“Then why hasn’t she?” Uriel asked skeptically. 

“Because I don’t have my wings anymore and Amenadiel refuses for some reason that he won’t explain. Would you like to come with me to get her or would you rather I bring her here?” 

“I’ll come with you,” Uriel told him, not wanting to give Lucifer time to set a trap if he was going to. It wasn’t long before Uriel whisked her away. Lucifer had no idea that she hadn’t ended up in Hell after all and was just glad to be done with that particular problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to add this chapter to this story since the sequel will start with a time jump. 
> 
> Side note: I'm less than 100 comments away from five thousand, so whoever gives my five thousandth comment gets to name Lucifer's next baby, not counting the sequel to Evil because he's already named. No cheating though lol.


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